God set this world in motion and has not taken His hand off of it; however, sometimes it is hard not to feel distant from Him. That makes Him no less God, just us a little more human...? I KNOW that God has called me to a specific purpose in His ministry. For many years I didn't know what that meant, but in recent years I have discovered a LOVE and PASSION to reach out to those from around the world. Although I have this great love for these people of every nation, tribe, and tongue...I still struggle with committing my time to the one that has put this passion inside of me. I know there is something wrong with this picture, and I DESIRE to change, forever, completely. I want nothing left of myself, although as I write this I wonder how true it could be since I have seen my constant failure of proving this nothing more than a momentary commitment.
I'm tired of living the same life that I have always lived, with the same fears that I have always harbored...I want a RENEWED passion for the one and only God in which I serve. I know there must be more to give of myself than I have already given. This life is not mine to live.
As I near closer and closer to my May 2009 graduation date, it seems inevitable that I will have to choose some path to take after this time. Although it is a bit scary, I know that it is time. I have considered so many different options, but the one I am really struggling with right now is the World Race. This is a program through AIM that sends you to 11 countries in 11 months in a very intense, life-changing journey. It has over and over caught my attention and I finally realized that I should really check into it. Over this next week I will be filling the application out, and as I do I would like to ask for your prayer. I am going to fill out the application, and step through this door as long as it is open. It seems so THRILLING to go to so many countries and show people the love of Christ through physical, mental, and spiritual works. However, I want whatever I do to be specifically orchestrated by God's hand.
Here it is...I feel inadequate, unworthy, and lacking in every way possible. I am simply trusting in the fact that God uses broken and worthless people to accomplish His goal. God used Saul turned Paul to be possibly the greatest missionary to ever walk this earth. I know He will use me if I am simply willing to be used...
God Bless.
1 comment:
Hi Lyndsay... this may seem strange, but I stumbled across your blog and wanted to say something. I just broke up with my boyfriend, Andrew, who was also my best friend. We were only actually dating for a few months... but we've been good friends for a long time so I'm not doing too well... as in, crying every two seconds. The reason we broke up was because I've been feeling a deep call to international ministry. He, on the other hand, is leaving for college at the end of August. His aim is to become an high school English teacher. And Andrew says that he needs to let me go and chase God's dream for me. I've been leaning on God... but still, I wonder about this call to ministry. Because I've never been so broken or lonely in my life. I'm standing between the world I've always known... and this world of great sorrow, but also great joy. I know God will be with me, but I'm terrified that He'll never bring another great guy like Andrew into my life, that I'm destined to remain single. I would be learn to be content with that... but it still scares me. So I guess I just wanted to say that "All I Can Give" really helped me. Me, a teenage girl who's heartbroken over her first real break-up. But also me, a teenage girl who's being shown new horizons and new peoples who need to see the love of Christ in their lives. It's going to be an adventure... but I'm still terrified :) God bless you and thank you, for this blog and for what you represent. The love of Christ, going out into all the world.
Post a Comment